Post by Brit on Jun 17, 2013 18:20:03 GMT
The classroom.
Most have visions of desks, with pencils scratching and papers shuffling, with teachers staring like hawks up and down the aisles as they drone on and on and on about senseless subjects. But if you're me... you see it as a germ breeding ground. Something you should know: I have an INTENSE fear of being sick at all. It sucks, and I feel like a dying elephant every fucking time. But this... this was HORRIFYING.
I sat in the first row near the door. And it's right by the trashcan. On my left, another desk and student. On my right, the floor and garbage can, then the door. There's a kid that sits on teh opposite side of the room. One day, he got up and was like... vampire pale. And he was doing the zombie walk. He gets right by the door, and--
I have an INTENSE and very irrational fear of vomit. My own, someone else's... no. I don't need to see what you had to eat or drink before you came here... if it's Sparky the Wonder Hamster and you're shitting him out, that's okay. But if you're puking, fuck no. Get away... far away.
Anyway... I'm digressing. He gets right by the door and collapses... so the teachers rush over and bring hte garbage can to him. He misses... and splatters the floor RIGHT BY MY FEET. I jumped out of that chair so fast I could have sworn my ass was smoking when I sat on the desk beside me. I knocked her papers off, and her phone, and jerked my hands and feet up like a woman who's just seen a mouse. I waved em some, too... Scrunched up in the fetal position with hands and feet kicking and waving. I even yelled... at the top of my voice (which, i've been told, sounds like I'm three) "COME ON! FUCKING REALLY?!!?"
Now, the teachers looked up. The class looked up. I felt horrid because he couldn't help it.. but it splattered! I mean.. .come on! You were two inches from the trash can in the first place, how the fuck do you miss?
In the words of Mushu from Mulan...
"You missed! How could you miss he (it) was 3 (a few inches..) feet in front of you!"
Vomit. No. Just... just no.
Most have visions of desks, with pencils scratching and papers shuffling, with teachers staring like hawks up and down the aisles as they drone on and on and on about senseless subjects. But if you're me... you see it as a germ breeding ground. Something you should know: I have an INTENSE fear of being sick at all. It sucks, and I feel like a dying elephant every fucking time. But this... this was HORRIFYING.
I sat in the first row near the door. And it's right by the trashcan. On my left, another desk and student. On my right, the floor and garbage can, then the door. There's a kid that sits on teh opposite side of the room. One day, he got up and was like... vampire pale. And he was doing the zombie walk. He gets right by the door, and--
I have an INTENSE and very irrational fear of vomit. My own, someone else's... no. I don't need to see what you had to eat or drink before you came here... if it's Sparky the Wonder Hamster and you're shitting him out, that's okay. But if you're puking, fuck no. Get away... far away.
Anyway... I'm digressing. He gets right by the door and collapses... so the teachers rush over and bring hte garbage can to him. He misses... and splatters the floor RIGHT BY MY FEET. I jumped out of that chair so fast I could have sworn my ass was smoking when I sat on the desk beside me. I knocked her papers off, and her phone, and jerked my hands and feet up like a woman who's just seen a mouse. I waved em some, too... Scrunched up in the fetal position with hands and feet kicking and waving. I even yelled... at the top of my voice (which, i've been told, sounds like I'm three) "COME ON! FUCKING REALLY?!!?"
Now, the teachers looked up. The class looked up. I felt horrid because he couldn't help it.. but it splattered! I mean.. .come on! You were two inches from the trash can in the first place, how the fuck do you miss?
In the words of Mushu from Mulan...
"You missed! How could you miss he (it) was 3 (a few inches..) feet in front of you!"
Vomit. No. Just... just no.