Post by Brit on Jun 17, 2013 18:18:44 GMT
Earlier today, I was talking with a few of my friends for the last day of classes and torture. We were talking about manipulative people in relationships, and the topic got onto my ex. He was pretty manipulative, and a big asshole too... anyway, that's not the point. I was sitting at the table, and I couldn't think of the word 'manipulation' because I was having major brain malfunction.. apparently still because every word I type comes out spelled fucked up. Anyway... we were talking, and I said "You guys! Why the hell's it matter if he was masterbating me?? It was my relationship!"
Course, then everyone looked at me and started giggling. I took a bit and absorbed what I'd actually said before I got really red. So, instead of stopping there, I kept going like an idiot. I tried again. "What the hell's it matter if he was MOLESTING me... Oooo that's so much worse. Forget I ever said that...." Of course I got a full bout of laughter. By this time I wanted to sink through the floor and stay buried. I was redder than a Doctor Pepper can and about as hot as a left on stove. Instead of digging myself a hole through the core of the earth I made sure to gesture and describe the definition of the word until someone said "manipulating?" I said YES! And that was my awful word flub.
Of course then I had a bunch of typos... autocorrect.
"This autocorrect is a pain in the ASSWAFFLES."
... "Ass waffles, huh?"
"No. Just no. Shut up."
And then I had my typo while IMing a friend today. If you didn't know, there's a song out there called Nom Nom Nom Nom Babies. It's a good song...look it up because I'm too lazy to link it. YouTube, you lazy bastards, that's what it's for... of course, I'm implying that I'm a lazy bastard also, which is just fine.
S: Sweet lobster babies... (line from song)
M: From the makers of poop bear.
...
wait.
Poop BEER***
(Line is actually "from the makers of poop beer".. I just messed it up)
S: That makes for an interesting visual.
M: Oh god. Poop bear...
It's like Pooh Bear's older brother. I imagine that episode would go something like this:
Pooh: Oh bother... I can't find my brother.
Piglet: *points* Over there! The dingleberry hanging out of Eeore's butt!
(A dingleberry: A piece of shit that hangs from an ass.. yes, people, we've all had them)
And that, my friends, is how Poop Bear was born.
Facts of life: Deal with them.. and haunt your kids' dreams of Pooh Bear and his brother.
Course, then everyone looked at me and started giggling. I took a bit and absorbed what I'd actually said before I got really red. So, instead of stopping there, I kept going like an idiot. I tried again. "What the hell's it matter if he was MOLESTING me... Oooo that's so much worse. Forget I ever said that...." Of course I got a full bout of laughter. By this time I wanted to sink through the floor and stay buried. I was redder than a Doctor Pepper can and about as hot as a left on stove. Instead of digging myself a hole through the core of the earth I made sure to gesture and describe the definition of the word until someone said "manipulating?" I said YES! And that was my awful word flub.
Of course then I had a bunch of typos... autocorrect.
"This autocorrect is a pain in the ASSWAFFLES."
... "Ass waffles, huh?"
"No. Just no. Shut up."
And then I had my typo while IMing a friend today. If you didn't know, there's a song out there called Nom Nom Nom Nom Babies. It's a good song...look it up because I'm too lazy to link it. YouTube, you lazy bastards, that's what it's for... of course, I'm implying that I'm a lazy bastard also, which is just fine.
S: Sweet lobster babies... (line from song)
M: From the makers of poop bear.
...
wait.
Poop BEER***
(Line is actually "from the makers of poop beer".. I just messed it up)
S: That makes for an interesting visual.
M: Oh god. Poop bear...
It's like Pooh Bear's older brother. I imagine that episode would go something like this:
Pooh: Oh bother... I can't find my brother.
Piglet: *points* Over there! The dingleberry hanging out of Eeore's butt!
(A dingleberry: A piece of shit that hangs from an ass.. yes, people, we've all had them)
And that, my friends, is how Poop Bear was born.
Facts of life: Deal with them.. and haunt your kids' dreams of Pooh Bear and his brother.